Jesse Bullington : Blog

Jan. 28

12:19 PM

Folly Book Giveaway—The Dog’s, or Just Plain Old Bollocks?

I hate going to the post office, and I live in a shoe box. Thus, if I'm going to the PO anyway I damn well better make it worth my time, and since I can't buy any new books until I clear some room on my over-taxed shelves, it's time to give away some of my few remaining author copies. Contest time! Two copies of the UK edition and one copy of the US edition of The Folly of the World are on the block.

I obviously have a fondness for slang, cant, proverbs, and other such semi-ciphered language, with Folly perhaps taking the cake in this regard--it wasn't on a whim that I referenced Brueghel's Netherlandish Proverbs/The Blue Cloak so often in the text:

All you've got to do to win a free copy of the novel, then, is:

1) Leave a comment on this blog entry (either on my website or the LJ cross-post) naming a favorite proverb, idiom, or bit of slang/cant. It can be anything, really, from a brief but profound kōan to a bawdy euphemism.

2) That's it. I would also very, very much appreciate it if anyone who receives a copy of the novel agreed to review it once they were done (it takes all of a minute to set yourself up to review books on amazon, for example)--I'm only able to sell my work to publishers as long as people keep buying them, and maybe a brief review here or there will sway prospective readers (hopefully in the right direction!)...

At noon PST on Thursday I'll choose three winners through some peculiar system, solicit the addresses from these lucky ducks, and drop the books in the mail Friday morning. Everyone wins! Except for those who don't, but at the very least maybe we'll all pick up some new expressions to annoy our friends and family with.

Cheers!

I enjoy your writing. A lot.

Leviticus on Jan. 28, 2013 at 1:17 PM

I've been reading through 30 years of Robert Louis Stevenson's correspondence, and he had a number of good things to say, but I think my favorite so far, as he was describing his writing progress to his friend and editor Sidney Colvin in 1875, he wrote:

"The future is thick with inky fingers."

This was, obviously, from one of his more productive periods, and not one of his sickly, crap periods. I think this counts...

Kriscinda Lee Everitt on Jan. 28, 2013 at 1:28 PM

A wise man makes proverbs, but a fool repeats them.

And I would be more than happy to write a review.

C. Dylan Hathaway on Jan. 28, 2013 at 1:33 PM

I spoke of nearly shitting in my pants in the review I wrote for "The Enterprise of Death", and I promise to one up myself. I also promise to share this review with as many people as possible.

My favorite old proverb is "Measure twice, cut once." I don't know how old it really is, but it's really the best.

Thanks again for everything, Jesse!

Leon (Boogerhead) Sandall

Leon Sandall on Jan. 28, 2013 at 1:35 PM

I will also produce an illustration from the tome, should I be chosen, and send it to you.

-L

Leon Sandall on Jan. 28, 2013 at 1:37 PM

A book, a woman, and money once go to other's hands will never come back, even if they come back, a book will be torn, woman becomes unchaste and money comes in bits.

Roger Bellini on Jan. 28, 2013 at 4:02 PM

I'd love to review this book!

I've always liked the proverb - "Better to light a candle than to curse the darkness."

Doug Smith on Jan. 28, 2013 at 4:33 PM

I actually just got the book from the waitlist at my county library, so obviously plan to read it anyway, but I'll still submit one of my favorite slang phrases: "chagrining my dazzle."

(I spend a lot of time on the internets.)

Kimira on Jan. 28, 2013 at 10:20 PM

"what you cannot avoid, welcome."

cheers to more stories from your brain!

midori monster on Jan. 28, 2013 at 10:23 PM

I like the Taoist saying, "A good traveler leaves no track."

I am just finishing Enterprise of Death and will be able to devote all my attention to your new work. <ha>

james gonzales on Jan. 28, 2013 at 10:57 PM

My fave proverb must be
Don't keep a dog and bark yourself

If I get the book, I'll review it and offer it as giveaway myself to spread the love further.
Cheers!

kris on Jan. 29, 2013 at 3:31 AM

A lovely french proverb which translates somewhat awkwardly in:
"Whoever wants to drown his dog accuses the beast of having rabies".
Cheers!

Laurent von PC on Jan. 29, 2013 at 3:47 AM

Six months in the lab will save you thirty minutes in the library

Joe57 on Jan. 29, 2013 at 9:14 AM

"Wizard's lies are crafted with truths" -Toast of 13th-14th century European tomb robbers-

David Y. Ardanuy on Jan. 29, 2013 at 9:36 AM

Found a great site for proverbs that are finished by fourth graders. Most are better than the originals. Here are a few of my faves:

Better to be safe than punch a 5th grader
You can lead a horse to water but how?
An idle mind is the best way to relax
A penny saved is not much.
If at first you don't succeed get new batteries.
When the blind lead the blind get out of the way.

And I'd gladly plaster the internet with glowing recommendations of all your works.

Nathan on Jan. 29, 2013 at 7:06 PM

A while back I picked up "The Enterprise of Death" on a whim (That cover kept calling my name)... absolutely blew me out of the water!! Simply amazing writing and a jaw dropping story ( I'm still not sure I've been "quite right" since). I tell everyone I see to read that book. I was thrilled when "Folly" was released, and I snatched a copy up right away. I'm 3/4 through the book and once again find myself angry that this thing called "my job" keeps getting in the way of reading. You have outdone yourself ! I alternate between cringing, laughing out loud, and hopping online to research things like "the Saint Elizabeth Flood", and what the heck was a "Cod or Hook". I will be giving the Netherlandish Proverbs painting a good looking over when I finish the book. You can now brag that your books are educational as well as other things.

Your writing style is fantastic, The stories are unpredictable and incredible. I'm a fan for life. Keep up the great work.
The Brothers Grossbart are next on the list.... I'm thrilled to have another to read.

I leave you all with one of the quotes from "The Folly of the World" that had me laughing ( and recalling a few rough nights in college).

"Arms linked to keep each other from falling overboard, Sander and Lansloet took to their knees at the edge of the boat, master and servant made equal as they prayed at the alter of Neptune. The ferocious wind carried their half-digested oblations up to paint the sail instead of letting them join the turbulent waters, leading the captain and son to curse like what they were."

....pure greatness...

Jeff V on Jan. 30, 2013 at 2:28 PM

"Every child finds a day when they realize that adults can be weak and wrong just like anyone else. After that day, you're an adult, like it or not." -Peter V Brett, The Warded Man.

I'd also like to add:

"Jesse Bullington is the sharpest, best lookin' guy I know. -George Washington

Andy N on Jan. 30, 2013 at 4:19 PM

Great entries so far, everyone, I'm greatly in your collective debt for the donations to my brain bank. The manifest quality of all the entries had me thinking that I may need to determine the victors with the aid of a dice bag...the deadline for submissions is noon PST tomorrow, but I won't announce the winners until later that afternoon, say five PST at the latest?

Cheers!

Jesse "Beard-toucher" Bullington on Jan. 30, 2013 at 4:57 PM

acting the maggot - Dublin slang for 'misbehaving'. Mostly heard roared across supermarkets by Mammys after sighting children beating the paste out of each other - eg 'If you don't cop on acting the maggot I'm putting back the frosties & ye'll be stuck with shredded wheat for the week'

Lorraine Wh on Jan. 30, 2013 at 5:23 PM

Here's one from the science world, in German:

"Wer misst misst Mist"

Meaning "whoever measures, measures crap." It reminds us that it's impossible to make a measurement without affecting whatever you're measuring, and that every measurement has an associated uncertainty.

Brad on Jan. 30, 2013 at 5:40 PM

Try to insert this colourful Serbian invective in your next argument:

"Go fuck the soup made with Jesus' bones."

joseph on Jan. 30, 2013 at 7:08 PM

^^ Can I vote for the Serbian invective?

Kriscinda Lee Everitt on Jan. 30, 2013 at 8:18 PM

There are some awesome proverbs here!

An Afrikaans one:
"Die koeël is deur die kerk", which translates to "The bullets through the church". It means that the worst has already happened, so you might as well get on with things. Apparently comes from when a deranged man attempted to shoot up a wedding by blasting a church wall, but all the bullets passed through the chapel without hurting anyone.

I'd love to write a review!

Dewald Steyn on Jan. 31, 2013 at 12:58 AM

Loved THE BROTHERS GROSSBART and THE ENTERPRISE OF DEATH. Would be thrilled to win a copy of THE FOLLY OF THE WORLD. Would be happy to post a few words of review too.

As a life long bachelorette entirely cynical about relationships and intimacy with other human beings, I have inverted a common proverb to fit my experiences:

Tis better never to have loved, than to have loved and lost.

Thanks so much!
Amy - life long lover of SF & F in NYC.

Amy Harlib on Jan. 31, 2013 at 1:05 AM

One day, by accident, I told someone "never punch a gift horse in the mouth". I was quickly corrected. I still firmly believe gift horses should not be punched. Or looked at.

So if you did give me the gift of a book, I can *almost* guarantee that no punching would be involved.

Renee Garcia on Jan. 31, 2013 at 9:20 AM

If you're going to act like a turd, go lay in the yard.

Gurujit on Jan. 31, 2013 at 9:52 AM

Hokay, so here's the sitch: we've got some really great contributions here, and I fully intend to bust these out at the nearest opportunity. The problem is that in trying to narrow down my favorites, I still keep coming up with too many winners...so I'll leave it up to chance for the three winners I promised, and then from the remaining entries force myself to pick a favorite, so we get both random selections and a subjectively merit-based grand prize...which is the same as all the other prizes, but still.

So between here and my LJ, we've got 25 entries, which makes for fine random determinations of victors. To make things easier on myself I'm going to paste the two LJ comments onto the site here, so's I can just look at the page and roll 2d10, percentile-style, with each entry assigned four numbers in descending order (Leviticus is 01-04, Kriscinda is 05-08, C. Dylan is 09-12, etc). Will announce the lucky sots directly in a new blog post, and email them for a mailing address to send their winnings--cheers!

Jesse "Two Sheds" Bullington on Jan. 31, 2013 at 8:45 PM

From LJ, saare_snowqueen offers this "inscrutable Estonian saying:

Ära käi mulle pinda Don't ask me to iron my head. Roughly means: Don't ask me to do the impossible."

Jesse "Two Sheds" Bullington on Jan. 31, 2013 at 8:46 PM

And also from LJ, sionak sez:

I first heard it from a Russian, so I assume it's a Russian saying:

"When life gives you a smile, it usually smirks."

Jesse "Two Sheds" Bullington on Jan. 31, 2013 at 8:47 PM

Ho-kay, posted the results last week, but in case anyone missed'em, here's the link: http://jessebullington.com/index.php/blog/proverbial_folly_book_giveaway_results/

Still waiting to receive the mailing addresses of two winners, so on the off chance that's you, you still want a copy of the book, and missed my missives, drop me a line with a shipping address. Thanks again, one and all!

Jesse "Bindlestiff" Bullington on Feb. 4, 2013 at 7:59 PM

Due to an unstoppable flood of spam and the disappearance of my webmaster, I am suspending all comments. Pope over to the Livejournal cross-post if you'd like to say anything, and apologies!